If someone were to take a step back and reflect on their life, what might become clear is that they don’t think they deserve anything. Then it is not going to matter what they do or what they contribute, as this will not change what is happening to them.
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There is a possibility that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. This is likely to mean that they will be used to giving a lot and receiving very little in return.
One step back
Before you got to this point, you may have believed that someone or something ‘out there’ was holding you back. This could have been seen as the only logical explanation for what was taking place.
As a result of this perspective, they may have had a victim mentality. Then they would have had no control over their life and would have expected their life to change sooner rather than later.
A charged experience
If you have ever encountered people who received what you wanted, this may have been a time when you experienced a strong reaction. They may have been jealous or even envy and believed that these people had something that they themselves did not.
What may have also crossed their minds is that these people got lucky. After this, they might have ended up feeling frustrated and angry, and this might have been followed by feeling very low.
An approximation
There may have been stages in their life where they ended up working harder, seeing this as how they ultimately turned their lives around. This may have been seen as their way of getting what they wanted.
After behaving this way for a while, they may have reached a point where they ended up feeling exhausted. Therefore, even if this had an effect, it will not have transformed your life.
Left with nothing
For how much they have given and how little they have received, it is to be expected that they have suffered. Ultimately, it is through being able to receive that someone will truly be able to give.
If the first part isn’t in place, the second part won’t be as effective as it would be. Still, there is a chance that one lives in a society that talks about how important it is to give and be there for others.
an analogy
If a team is partially charged, it won’t be as useful as a fully changed team. Then, since the second team will have spent more time receiving, they will be able to give more.
What this shows is that as important as it is to give, if someone can’t receive, they won’t be able to give as much as they otherwise would. This emphasizes how important it is for someone to feel comfortable receiving.
going deeper
Now, if someone doesn’t believe they deserve something, it’s naturally going to be hard for them to receive it. Consequently, even if they receive something, they may not be able to accept it.
They may feel guilty and ashamed and find a way, both consciously and unconsciously, to get rid of whatever they received. This will allow them to return to a place where, deep down, they feel comfortable.
Out of balance
One way of looking at this would be to say that one does not have a healthy sense of entitlement. If this were in place, they would know that they deserve to receive things.
This is not to say that they would expect everything to just fall into their lap, as they would realize that they have to do their part. Having this understanding would also give them the confidence to go after what they want.
back in time
The big question is: why would someone believe that they do not deserve to receive it? What this may illustrate is that their early years were anything but enriching, which would have meant that they were not given what they needed to grow and develop.
This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly if not daily basis. Not only would they have been traumatized throughout this stage of their life, but they would have personalized what happened.
A new beginning
Since they were self-centered during this time, what happened would have been seen as a reflection of their value. It wasn’t then that their caretakers were wrong; it was that they were inherently worthless and unworthy of life itself.
The meaning that was made at a stage in their life when they lacked the ability to think rationally will have a massive impact on how they experience life as adults. For their life to change, they will need to let go of the meaning that was made so many years ago and work through their trauma.
Awareness
If you can relate to this and are ready to change your life, you may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.
