Anyone who has met their twin flame knows that people who haven’t experienced this specific connection usually don’t understand its magnitude or the unusual challenges partners face.
Our friends try to help us, but in reality they do the opposite. His advice, while well-intentioned, is often flawed and, frankly, wrong.
Those who are not intuitive, spiritually aware or empathic or who have not personally experienced a relationship on this level have no idea how these relationships are different from the ‘norm’.
These ties are strong, personal and unique. It’s impossible to say that all twin relationships follow the same pattern, it doesn’t. However, many of them share something in common. One or both, after a period of acknowledgment and outward expression of love, develop very bad behavior. She may have heard the word “runner”. This refers to the partner who, after the initial period of bliss and devotion, abruptly changes behavior and becomes distant or leaves altogether.
When something so shocking to the soul happens, we lose our emotional balance. The partner (typically female, but not always) who has been ‘abandoned’ by their partner must find their way… and figure out what happened. So we look for our friends. But they don’t understand. They say “oh…he must be seeing someone else” or “forget about him/her. They’re not worth it.”
I was able to make a comparison, and it’s not exactly correct, but it’s the closest thing I can think of to help describe this to someone who (1) hasn’t experienced it or (2) can’t feel it energetically through intuitive/empathic abilities .
If you’ve ever been a parent (or any adult who comes in daily contact with a child and loves them), you know how it feels to be close to unconditional love. Possibly even real unconditional love. I have raised two sons and a daughter. Eleven years of single parenting gives me the authority to speak on this subject: eventually that loving child turns into a jackass. It’s part of growing up, maturing, finding your independence and deciding how you fit into this world. A parent is the person who is sure of him, so the average child will misbehave at home, even if he is almost perfect at school, in other people’s homes, and on his sports teams. No matter how amazing your child is as a human being, there’s a good chance he’ll be a real poo at one point or another.
Remember how your son climbed onto your lap and wanted nothing more than to cuddle with you, kiss you, play with your hair…just be with you. That incredible human being told you that he loved you twenty times a day! That kid wanted you to come to all the football games, baseball games, basketball games, and school events. His love for you shone out and yours shone on them.
Then one day they hate you. It is usually shortly after they stop showering.
The mom or dad who used to be a trusted source of information is now stupid.
The teen reaches a point where they probably won’t talk to you or yell at you. My personal favorite, the look of embarrassment. Instead of yelling at you, they slouch their shoulders and lower their heads and shake it from side to side so you REALLY know how pathetic you are.
But you love them. You love them because you know them. Whether you have physically given birth to them or not, you have seen them grow, develop, you know them in their essence. You know them better than anyone, because you know them from the beginning. You love them deeply and authentically because you know the “real” ones and you know they’re not perfect, but they are your amazing children, flaws and all.
You know, when they get to this disgusting period, it’s just that. It is a behavioral phase. When they misbehave, when they don’t talk to you, when they don’t seem to need you, it’s not their authentic self. It is them finding their way into what they are becoming. They trust you and know that you will be there for them. They just have to choose you, To choose you, they must be ready.
Sometimes they won’t say they love you during this period. That would make them drown. But they love you. They always have, the bond is unbreakable.
I remember telling my middle son when he was at his worst, “I will always love you, but I don’t like you at all right now!”
Sometimes your child’s behavior is so egregious that you, the non-misbehaving one, have to make a decision.
The same goes for twin flame relationships when the ‘running twin’ behavior is simply no longer acceptable to the ‘awakened twin’. Once the awakened twin knows for sure that it is a ‘cycle’… that when the corridor leaves it has never really left and will always return, there is a level of comfort. Where after the first few cycles there might have been doubt, fear, worry that you would never see them again, now there is a trust.
When the cycle has been repeated enough times, you know without a doubt what your bond is based on and that it is impossible to break. Just like with your son.
What I think happens with many is that the ‘awakened’ twin gets exhausted by the whole thing. Just like it’s hard to keep a family together when one person keeps testing your energy (the upset, angry teenager), something has to change. You may decide to draw the line and tell that teen (or twin flame) that while she loves them and always will, her behavior is not acceptable.
Every family, every relationship is different. There is no right answer, it will be personal and unique to your situation.
With a Twin Flame who professes their love and maybe even recognizes the depth of the connection, but chooses (even if they don’t understand why they do it) bad behavior, you may decide to walk away for a while, to give them some distance to find out and be clear that love is not the only thing that matters when we are in human form. Behavior is also an important part of a successful relationship. Those who know their twin will feel that the behavioral choices stem primarily from fear. Fear of taking risks and failing, fear and confusion about the intensity of what they are experiencing with you, etc. Fear is a topic for another day, but the source of the misbehavior is real and deeply felt by the twin, even if the “awake” twin thinks it’s ridiculous. While the Twin-Flames bond can never be broken, behavior is a choice and can be changed.
If the person you love dearly is your child, and that child you know on a soul level as the most wonderful human being is making bad decisions… would your friends tell you that “he/she is seeing another mother”? They’d say “why are you bothering with him/her? They’re not worth it, forget it. Find someone else.”
