Never giving up is not always the best option in romantic relationships. When we wait with a mindset of love and patience for someone to commit to us, it is wise to keep our eyes and ears open and pay attention to our innate wisdom.
I would never recommend anyone rush into a relationship. I’ve been quick to get into relationships enough times in my own life, to know the mistake that way. Each of us has our own inner sense of when it is time for a relationship to move to the next level. If that is not happening in your relationship and you want something more, it is up to you to start the conversation.
If you’ve already talked about your desire for a greater commitment and nothing has changed, you may be riding a dead horse.
A reluctant spouse who was hurt in a previous relationship may have genuine worries of being hurt again. Your understanding and patience will help calm your fears. However, if a reasonable amount of time has passed and your partner makes no effort to put the past behind you and move on with you, it may be time for you to break free.
You may be riding a dead horse, if your partner doesn’t make it their priority and makes enough effort to keep you attached. If you spend the weekends alone, it could be a red flag. Some people are so afraid of how a commitment will change their life that they freeze in time. Or maybe they are waiting for something better to come … you will for now. As long as they have fun and there is peace in the relationship, they are content to let it continue as it is. Be wary of people who paint an optimistic picture of how they will have more time for their relationship in the future. When and if the “future” comes, that person may be nowhere to be found.
In the song, “It’s in His Kiss,” Aretha Franklin, Cher, and others proclaimed that their kiss is the way you can tell if a man loves you or not. Unfortunately, it is not that easy. The best way to find out is by listening to your own inner wisdom.
The voice that tells you that you will be completely alone if you walk away from an unsatisfying relationship, or that tells you that no one else will love you, is lying to you. That is not the voice of wisdom, that is the voice of fear.
Listen to the voice that tells you that it will be okay no matter what. Listen to the voice that tells you to get out of the bargains and stop settling for a relationship that brings you neither peace nor fulfillment.
If the horse (relationship) you’re riding is dead … you know what to do.
