If you are looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help you by giving you four things to do to stop triangulating in your relationships. You triangulate when you enter into a dynamic relationship between two other people in an attempt to fix the problem.
Here are some things you can do that are triangulating:
• Holding resentment towards or punishing someone for what is done to another.
• Speak for someone instead of letting the person speak for themselves.
• Jump into a problem between two people to try to resolve it during the actual conflict.
• Appeal to someone on behalf of another person to convince them to think or act in a certain way.
Here are some real life examples:
• Getting into an argument between your spouse and child to influence your spouse to handle the conflict differently.
• Call your mother to tell her how your sister feels about something.
• Talk to your sister about letting your son do a particular activity because the boy called you and asked you to talk to him.
• Punish your brother-in-law by not including him in your house activities because your brother doesn’t get along with him.
When you get into a relationship between two people, you face additional problems and prevent them from working on their relationship. Proverbs 26:17 says, “As one who seizes a dog by the ears, he is a passerby who interferes in a lawsuit that is not his” (NIV). You can work on your Christian codependency by recognizing that God doesn’t expect you to do for other people what they should do for themselves: speak up for themselves and solve their own relationship problems.
