For most men, dancing is a flimsy art form, not very manly, and definitely not the first choice of “extracurricular activity” or “hobby.” In my 3+ years of dancing, I have come across more guys who looked down on dance and had highly biased views of “men on the dance floor” than those who considered dancing as much a sport as any other.
Men, in general, prefer to get involved in sports like soccer and wrestling and forms of entertainment like drinking and smoking and operate from a predetermined notion that dancing should be left for the opposite sex to compete with. Only the few men who are willing to shed that misconception and test their limits on the dance floor are lucky enough to realize just how much skill, talent, and discipline it takes to be a great dancer.
Although I talk about “men” as a mix of all age groups and social status, I think it’s harder to get a younger guy to join a dance class and be on the dance floor than a more mature man. I say this with a lot of conviction since most of the dance classes and social dances I have attended (in the US and Asia), consist of mostly older men and women (especially older men). This could be different in each country, state and city and also depends a lot on the style of dance (eg standard dances vs. Latin dances, etc.) but I don’t think I’m going too far off tangents to assume this as a general observation.
For all the ladies out there who are striving to get their friends/partners/significant others on the dance floor, here are a few more tricks to try.
1. First of all tell your partner that no matter what they can or can’t do, how many tricks they have up their sleeves and how many accomplishments they have in their life, if they can’t dance they are not “complete”. “. Tell him that being able to carry a lady onto the dance floor with confidence is one of the basic elements of “masculinity” and being “masculine” 🙂
2. My dance teacher always said “in a world where the battle of the sexes is becoming more obvious, dance is the only time when men lead and women are forced to follow.” He tries this line next time with his partner, maybe his boosted ego and the chance to “lead” will get him off the couch and TV and onto the dance floor.
3. Suggest some simple dance videos or instructional videos for your partner to watch. YouTube is also a great source for a variety of basic video clips for free. This will not only put you at ease and build confidence, but will also be a great tool and guide in determining what type of dance will best suit your styles and purposes.
4. Dance at home with your partner if he is too shy to dance in a class on his first try. Have him try out some dance moves at home when no one is watching! The boys would be surprised to discover the extent of their capabilities.
5. Encourage your male partner to try dancing (in a beginner group class or even at home and different types of dance) as a form of exercise and recreation if he is not willing to put in the time and effort to seriously dance at first. Once they get the hang of it and learn to be less shy, you might be able to convince him to take a few lessons with you and maybe even take the dance to the next level.
In summary:
For all the men who are reluctant to dance, they must first realize that looking elegant and graceful on the dance floor comes with a lot of practice, effort and discipline and that the dance floor is a space where you can take control, be on load and show your audience everything that is done. It is a space, time and opportunity for all men to be more manly. Not less.
To all the women who are itching to get their men out on the dance floor, try the above and be patient. Men will eventually take notice.
