Public speaking is often rated as the biggest fear adults have. However, speaking for yourself is not threatening to most. It’s the public part that scares people. Why is this?
Maybe it’s the way you learned to speak in public. Most of us started talking when we were around 1 year old. Our first spoken words were enthusiastically cultivated and celebrated by our parents. Our first speech was over the phone with our grandparents.
Those were the good old days. Every word and sound you made (apart from crying) was greeted with smiles and attention from the adults.
Our next opportunity to experience public speaking was at the grocery store. We learned that our favorite cereal, candy, or treat could be ours if we put on enough of a public show to embarrass our parents. Yeah, this acting thing seemed like a good thing, until we got home. We were then sent to our room. This sent us mixed messages about public speaking.
So you went to school. For a budding public speaker, this was a gift: a classroom filled with an enthusiastic audience. Boy, were we wrong. It turned out that all the other students wanted to speak at the same time. Why didn’t they realize that your thoughts and words were more important than theirs?
Your years in school brought more opportunities to present yourself in public. However, they often seemed to be walking through a minefield. You never knew when you might say something silly or give the wrong answer. The teacher would give you that look and your audience might laugh. And that was just the daily grind of school days. You learned that people can be very fickle and ungrateful because of the way you talk.
Speaking in class was to ask the teacher a question or to answer the teacher’s questions. Ask a silly question or give the wrong answer and you could be the recipient of the teacher’s wrath. Even if he asked good questions and gave the correct answers, it only pleased the teacher and caused the disdain of his classmates. This public speaking thing seemed to be a no-win situation. Most days it seemed best to avoid it. Keep your hand down and avoid eye contact.
The boldest person was the class clown who seemed to have a natural talent for pulling pranks, entertaining the audience, and annoying the teacher. The teacher was the one who talked the most in class and that was often boring. Neither of them was a good role model for a future public speaker.
There was the school play. Maybe he volunteered or volunteered and had a few lines to deliver. You rehearsed the lines before and after breakfast and on the way to school. Maybe you were coached by your parents who were clueless about public speaking or the pressure you felt. The day of the work you delivered your lines. Maybe you hated the experience. “I won’t do that again” – you promised
So why is there such a mystery that so many adults fear public speaking?
Maybe it’s because they’ve been conditioned that way for most of their lives. If you want to be a better public speaker, you may need a serious overhaul.
