Nicholas Strand’s new book, Loving Someone Dying: Choose Your Attitude, Create Your Life, documents his wife Brianna’s life story, their relationship, and most importantly, her courage as she spent her life learning to live with cystic fibrosis (CF) and not let it control your life. This book will show you that even in the face of all odds, you can have a positive outlook on life, enrich the world for those around you, and leave a legacy that will continue to inspire others.
It’s hard to describe Brianna in a few words. She had so many levels and strengths. However, her husband, Nick, gets it right when he explains what led to the photo of Brianna on the book cover:
“Her beauty was what drew most people’s attention. But her power was visible, politely letting her beauty take center stage. What you don’t see was her 101 degree temperature, or when she removed the needle and she put the IV aside so she could jump into her wedding dress and let her beauty radiate. Yet she did it with ease, without any sign that she was in a constant war to keep her body alive.”
Brianna constantly radiated love, joy, support, kindness, and fun. As she shares Nick, she refused to let CF control her. She had to be in control, and when CF took control, she got mad. Nick documents many examples of how Brianna was always one step ahead of CF. She was diagnosed with CF herself at a young age and told that she would not live past thirteen, but she made it to nearly thirty. In high school, she was heavily involved in 4-H, serving as an officer and giving speeches. Nick first met her through this organization, and as he got to know her, instead of letting his CF talk him out of it, he jumped on Brianna’s bandwagon and rode her all the way, supporting her in everything she did and always being amazed. how.” Awesome!” she was.
An example of how Brianna followed her dreams, despite CF, is reflected in her love for animals. She wanted to be a veterinarian, but her illness kept interfering with her education. Anyway, she found a job at a veterinary clinic; she pushed CF aside so she could care for the animals, as well as bring love and light into the lives of all who visited the clinic. Nick and her family often visited her at work and sometimes had to force her to leave work to focus on her CF instead of the animals.
Even though her illness might have slowed her down, Brianna rose to the challenge of appearing before the US Senate to testify about the need for funding to learn more about CF. At the time, she was too sick to continue working, but she was still determined to help people through her testimony. In her testimony, she describes her relationship to her illness and why she wanted to share her story:
“I consider myself a stay-at-home mom for my son, CF. Just like children, you have to constantly take care of CF, and it’s a part of my life forever. It also requires a village… No I’m not sharing my story so that feel sorry for me or feel sorry for me. We all have obstacles and limitations in life, but it’s not about that limitation, it’s about the power you give to that limitation. My hope is that by sharing my story today, it feels inspired-inspired to get involved in funding research for new drugs and inspired to help make a difference for someone affected by these bacteria. Most importantly, I hope you use that inspiration to be a part of something life-changing.”
At the end of her life, Brianna was still in control of her illness. She wanted her IVs removed before she went home from the hospital one last time. Nick describes this as “a small victory for Brianna. Sure, her CF would take the life out of her, but there was no way she would allow it to control her. Taking the IVs off gave her a bit of freedom as her body shut down.” “.
Brianna’s story could have been sad, but these pages bear witness to a life filled with love. In fact, her husband and her in many ways had a fairy tale relationship, despite the challenges. Says Nick, “Overcoming those challenges made us stronger. What’s important is how you adapt, love and lean on each other to support each other. Be honest, clear and always work for a better life… Never hold a grudge for anything but always builds a better team by constantly checking in on sentiments, both positive and negative. Brianna and I never shy away from talking and making it clear what made us feel good. If we missed something, those pillow talks usually allowed us the opportunity to address they.”
Beyond being about Brianna and her illness, Loving Someone Dying is about how to love. Raise love to a higher level. Brianna knew her time was limited, so she took every opportunity she got to make life as wonderful as possible for herself and others. Perhaps most revealing is Brianna’s response when a medical student once asked her if she wished she didn’t have CF: “Honestly, no. Having CF is part of what makes me who I am. It has taught me the power of loving my family; it gives me a perspective to live each day to the fullest”.
The book’s subtitle, “Choose Your Attitude, Create Your Life,” reflects Brianna’s favorite saying, which she coined herself. She this is a woman who had every reason to be angry at the world, but she took her pain and suffering to turn it into something beautiful. It is a lesson from which we can all benefit.
