The search for happiness seems to be the search that most are on, and not just the search for financial gain and status, but the happiness that can be experienced in a relationship. In the burning metropolis, women, you are not alone in your search. There are quite a few men out there who have gotten off their gamer ways and are looking for something with a little more substance.
Women have been presented with a multitude of resources that attempt to explain male behavior. Most of these resources have been coveted as personal relationship bibles, forged with a series of how-to and relationship commandments. Men rarely rule their lives with such rules, but beware of suitors, there are some deadly signs to watch out for. Now for those who still play the field, this is not for you. Play about playing. For those bleeding hearts looking for love, grab a pen and paper and get ready for some mental reminiscence.
Chances are you’ve met someone who thought they were the best thing since sliced bread. As far as you’re concerned, she was the one. She probably has everything you’re looking for. She could be the most elegant ‘thang’ to strut your way, rocking stiletto heels with stealth-like precision. You say to yourself, “Oh, ‘shawty’ has class and style.” It could be that she is spiritually grounded and possesses enough intellect to balance the equation; “I mean it’s more than a nice butt and a smile.” But, suitors, beware… she may have everything you are looking for, everything except the desire to be with you.
Here are some signs that will let you know that you are a little less than what the woman of your interest wants:
The first three signs fall into the category of DIRTY GAME. There’s clearly something funny going on, but you just can’t put your finger on it.
- See no evil: The most essential aspect of human interaction is eye contact. The eyes often contain many mysteries, and a glimpse into one’s psyche, some would even say a glimpse into the soul. A loss or decline in this eye swapping can happen at any stage of the dating game, but regardless of when it happens, it’s usually evidence of at least one of several possible things. A woman who refuses or stops looking you in the eye is clearly hiding or avoiding something. It’s quite possible that a long look could indicate sincere interest, and since she’s not interested, she avoids meeting your eyes to avoid being deceitful. Or she could be rejecting eye contact simply because something or someone else has her attention. A woman who is interested in you takes the opportunity to be captured in your gaze. She wants to feel adored and know that you are focused on her.
- Hear no evil: Chances are you’ve progressed beyond the initial stages of courtship; You’ve probably been out a few times. Now, all of a sudden, her attempts to organize outings are always met with opposition, as dates are left open with no definitive answer as to whether or not they will actually happen. On the other hand, it might be past the planning and arranging stage, but somehow, just before the date takes place, something happens. Now don’t get me wrong, we all have the right to change a date or cancel here and there, things happen. But, if this is a constant recurrence, then maybe, just maybe, “she’s not that into you.”
- Don’t speak bad things: Friends, if you have ever been in this situation or know this woman, believe me, you will know. This woman’s conversation is “off the fucking chain”, oh, she handles the mouthpiece, and she’ll make your ass go to never-never land, just imagining what other ways she can work. The general conversation is on point, but it just so happens that you start a serious conversation about the two of you. You’ll think you’ve just entered a legal proceeding and I advise you to have your lawyers on deck. Because while you talk to her, she responds to you, but you will think that you are just talking to her representative. Answers that usually get an easy, definitive answer will probably only get you a vague “let me get back to you.” If you manage to get a bigger response than this, she thinks it will be vague, ambiguous, and a clear sign that she’s not interested.
The following three fall into the category of “That AT&T/Cingular Merger”, and we all know that things were never the same after they joined forces:
- Transferred call: If this hasn’t happened yet, just wait, wait, wait, don’t worry, it’s about to happen, as soon as you ask about the possibility of something more than a casual date with the two of you. have been involved. You’ll likely come across a sentence that sounds something like this: “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now, or I just got out of a relationship, and right now I’m just trying to make myself.” Okay folks, we mastered this entertaining tactic many moons ago, so it should sound very familiar to you when you hear it. The same rules apply, so when you hear this line, you know that she simply means that she is not interested in being in a relationship with you.
- Call waiting: So you have been diligent in your search, as you should have been, you are the hunter and you are on the prowl. However, if your advances have been in the form of unanswered or unreturned calls, this would be the right time for you to spin the wheel, buy a vowel, and solve the damn puzzle. Now keep in mind that, generally speaking, you’re probably the one making the most phone calls, but if she never calls, or if the only time she calls is in response to one of your several missed calls, clearly you’re not. important to her. . You have not been on her mind and she has been avoiding you because she is not interested.
- Busy signal: Okay, your advances have met with opposition, but you’re still trying. Up to this point, you’ve taken everything you’ve been given at face value, and you’re trying to convince yourself that something substantial can exist between the two of you if you just have patience. Stop lying to yourself. This overextended search had ended in hello. You just have to ignore the signs. Most likely, the reasons for all the missed engagements, phone calls, and lackluster interaction are attributed to how busy your life is. We are all busy, we all strive and strive for a better life, but when we find someone we are interested in, we make room for them in our busy lives. Don’t assume that she is lying when she says that she is very busy. She is probably extremely busy with all the things that matter in her life, which doesn’t include you.
The seventh and final deadly sign falls into a category of its own, and we’ll simply call it:
- MapQuest speech: Go ahead, bring out Lenny Williams, Jodeci, Anthony Hamilton or whatever your favorite “sobbing” artist is and you might as well fix yourself a stiff drink because this one might hurt a little. When this speech is delivered, you’ll feel like you’ve just been hit with the proverbial 90 mph love ball. This is the who’s who of kick rock speeches. She might as well have pulled Soulja Boy out of his pocket only for him to say “yeah, trick, yeah.” You’ll feel like you’re looking for Waldo when she takes a stance on how she’s “looking for herself” and using statements like “I’m trying to find myself.”
Believe me, I understand that we all go through life-altering experiences at different stages of life, but anyone who values you and has a sincere interest in you will not lay this pile of garbage at your feet. If you get this “hitter’s resignation”, it was a 90 mph love ball, and at this point you might as well choose what self-esteem and respect you have left and walk calmly off the field. My friend… the game is over.
Folks, if you find yourself in a situation that even remotely resembles any of the signs, use your best judgment to discern whether you should move on or continue your search. If the cases are rare, it might be worth the wait, but if she’s a habitual criminal, she clearly doesn’t hold you in high regard. In their eyes, you are probably just an option rather than a preference. I encourage you to have a little self-respect and refuse to be any woman’s “plan B.” This game may be over, but in the burning metropolis, the female to male ratio is about 6 to 1, so suit up once again and realize there’s still grass on the pitch.
