Change can be emotional and seen as a great opportunity, or scary and the worst that can happen. Whether it is a good or bad experience depends on the attitude of the person. Regardless of how it is experienced, normalizing change is the path to a fulfilling life.
A baby’s first steps are shaky, but ultimately result in failure. Going from middle school to high school for the first time is something she looks forward to, but seniors can be intimidating. Leaving home for college means freedom and independence, but also the possibility of homesickness, intimidation with arrogant teachers, and difficult roommates. The first day at your first real job is the start of a new chapter in life, but it’s common to feel totally stupid.
The aforementioned experiences are a common path for students seeking higher education. Real change starts with making tough decisions. After reaching high school, will the student respond appropriately or react negatively to bullies and gossips? Are the challenges of pursuing higher education supported rather than avoided or denied? Do fear of asking questions and false pride dictate how the new job goes?
Difficult decisions continue as life progresses. Mel Robbins, author of The 5 second rule attributes that personally coming out of bankruptcy and binge drinking began with a process of counting backwards 5-4-3-2-1 to launch out of bed in the morning. The story is mostly about a desperate need to change direction in his life by ignoring feelings and committing to act for the better. Mel claims the seemingly insignificant process of counting 5-4-3-2-1 and launch getting out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button started the road to recovery that led him to being one of the best public speakers in the world.
The key to Mel’s success is being smart about what needs to be done and taking the necessary steps to get it done by not giving in to what feels comfortable. Other bad boy it’s the analysis paralysis of overthinking, which eventually results in convincing yourself to do nothing. Although research varies, many would agree that it takes at least 21 days to form a habit. The time leading up to creating a habit is hard because change is a challenge! Failed New Year’s resolutions are a continual test.
a companion bad boy For analysis, paralysis is a cognitive distortion. Cognitive distortions are simply the mind’s ways of convincing itself of something that isn’t really true. Inaccurate thoughts reinforce negative thinking. The tricky part is that you build a rationale around the misconceptions. The following are some common distortions that people use:
Pessimism: amplify the negative and filter the positive.
Powerlessness: feeling powerless over what happens in life.
Overgeneralization: Basing an opinion on a single piece of evidence.
Blame – “it’s not my fault, you don’t understand.”
Emotional Reasoning: Feelings are automatically indicative of what is true.
Change attempts are unlikely with dominant cognitive distortions. That is why the 5 second rule is so effective in completing a predetermined decision. The only thing to think about is repeating the 5 second countdown to take action. Distortions based on excessive feelings or thinking should be ignored.
Answering five questions serves as additional help in determining when and how to change:
Where are you? Take an honest and objective look at where you are right now physically, emotionally, relationally, mentally (academically), spiritually, and financially.
Where are you going and why? Write down dreams and get a vision and purpose to stay focused.
Who are you? Know that each person is talented, gifted, and destined for great things. The hardest person to convince of that is you.
What are you doing that matters? Pay it later.
When and how will you initiate the changes necessary to be smart about higher education and live a life that matters?
Start using the 5 second rule: 5-4-3-2-1, start answering these questions now!
