One of the difficulties we have with the term ‘intolerance’ is that it is often confused with words like ‘anger’, ‘grudgingly’, ‘resentful’, ‘sulky’ and ‘prejudice’.
It seems that tolerance (or intolerance) varies from person to person and is a matter of personality and general temperament: individual differences exist at all age levels. Some consider that as we get older we become less tolerant: with small talk, with those who are different from us, etc. Others, however, tolerate these things more easily and, as a general truth, soften with age, accepting that all types are needed in this world.
Research on whether we become more or less tolerant as we age is scant. Researchers at The Ohio State University found that older adults tend to be more prejudiced than younger people. The reason, the researchers explained, was that old people just can’t help it. There is also some research to suggest that as men age they become more rigid and intolerant. And, as women get older, they become more tolerant and flexible.
According to Los Angeles psychiatrist Mark Goulston, intolerant people tend to have some common characteristics. They can be fanatical, psychologically rigid, know-it-alls. They’re generally lousy listeners, controlling, frequently jealous, can’t leave anything to chance, and (surprise, surprise) have strain in their relationships.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that we become more direct as we age. If we’re flying, and the person sitting in front of us pushes their seat back, or at the movies, if someone slams their feet on the back of our seat, or if someone thinks everyone is interested in listening to their phone conversation, old people tend to talk.
It seems that if you want to avoid being intolerant towards others, you have two main options: distance yourself or put up with them.
