Domestic violence crosses all ethnic, racial, orientation, religious, and socioeconomic lines. Some societies feel that a man has a right to be physically aggressive as a means of asserting his authority. Bullying behavior comes in various forms. Some focuses are wrapped in feelings of love or even affection. Men often use a woman’s love for them to make her feel obligated to give them the sex they need. Men cannot understand why women are not more willing to cooperate with intercourse. Men get frustrated because women control their sexual opportunities. Men often use any means available to pressure their partner to please them.
Domestic violence or abuse is a deliberate strategy to control women rather than an impulsive act. Abuse is a learned behavior. It is learned by seeing the use of abuse as a successful control tactic, typically in the home the abuser grew up in, but also in schools, peer groups, and the media. The behavior is target specific. Men, who abuse, do not use this behavior at work. They use abuse in the home as a means of control over their partners.
Abusers often use violence or coping mechanisms to justify abusive behavior, extreme jealousy, and conflicted personalities. Abusers deny responsibility for their actions and often also deny that any abusive behavior took place. They often present a different personality outside the home than they do inside, making it difficult for a woman to describe her experiences to people outside the relationship.
Abusive behavior can include physical abuse (violence aimed at causing bodily harm) and sexual abuse (forcing a partner to perform sexual acts against their will). Psychological or emotional abuse may precede or accompany physical violence as a means of control. Economic coercion is used to make the partner dependent on the abuser for money and survival.
Domestic violence (domestic violence), with women and children as the main victims, is a major global epidemic. The majority, approximately 90 to 95 percent, of victims in heterosexual relationships are women. In the US, beatings are the leading cause of injury to women (more incidences than rape, robbery, and car accidents combined). It is estimated that at least 3 to 4 million women are beaten by their husbands or partners each year in the US Women can also abuse their children. Women more typically abuse verbally than physically. Given the absence of physical injuries, emotional abuse is rarely identified.
A woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped or killed by her male partner than by any other type of aggressor. About half of all marital relationships involve some form of domestic violence. More than half of female homicide victims in the US are killed by their male partners.
Men tend to express their emotions primarily through violence. But equally one has to wonder why men have such strong negative emotions towards women in the first place. Men’s sex drive and women’s lower sexual interest is certainly one of the reasons why men may resent women’s control over them. Another possibility is women’s greater inclination to argue articulately when it comes to discussing relationship issues. Men are much more inclined to hit or keep quiet rather than offer a rational discussion on emotional issues.
A woman stays with a man because she loves him and believes he can change. Men have many moments when they are generous with their affection. A woman may try to be perfect for her partner to show her loving side. Unfortunately, an abuser is driven by his own emotional needs and continues his behavior despite his actions. Sex can be a male problem, but women can be sentimental with their loved ones. Men know this well and often use a woman’s love as a means of bartering for sex.
There are several factors that seem to place certain women at somewhat higher risk of abuse. Young women (ages 19 to 29) are at higher risk. Separated or divorced women are 14 times more likely than married women to report having been victims of domestic violence. However, it is likely that the separation or divorce was a direct result of the violence.
A woman can have sex during her period and during pregnancy. No harm done. Not all women want. They may worry that they are dirty or that intercourse will harm the fetus (only in the case of rape). They may also use her period or pregnancy as an excuse to take a break from the regular sex that men require. The advanced stages of pregnancy leave the woman less able to defend herself. Medical sources suggest that about 37 percent of obstetric patients are physically abused during pregnancy. About 21 percent of previously abused women report an increase in abuse during pregnancy. The risk of injury to a woman and her fetus is increased.
Women who have an overly jealous or possessive partner are more at risk. Women who abuse drugs or alcohol or are in a relationship with someone who abuses drugs or alcohol are at higher risk. Men who have witnessed domestic violence between their parents are three times more likely to abuse their own wives than men who have non-violent fathers.
You deserve a man who loves you, respects you and is attentive to your needs. Don’t feel like you have to settle for less. (Stephan Labossiere 2018)
